Why Do I Keep Thinking About My Ex? The Spiritual Meaning

Have you found yourself unable to stop thinking about an ex, even long after the relationship ended? This frustrating experience often has a deeper spiritual meaning.

If you’re short on time, here’s a quick answer to your question: You likely keep thinking about your ex due to an unresolved spiritual connection or unfinished business from the past relationship. This points to inner work needed around healing, self-love, and closure before fully moving on.

In this comprehensive guide, we’ll explore the top reasons you can’t stop thinking about an ex, from emotional attachments to past life connections. You’ll also discover actionable tips to find closure, let go of what no longer serves you, and pave the way for healthier relationships ahead.

Emotional Attachment and Addiction

You got emotionally hooked

When we enter a romantic relationship, chemicals like dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin get released, making us feel good and attached to our partner. These feel-good chemicals can be addictive, causing an emotional dependency.

According to an article on BetterHelp, just like any other addiction, trying to let go of an ex can be painful. When the relationship ends, you go through emotional withdrawals – longing for your ex, the intimacy you shared, and the overall partnership.

Unhealthy relationship patterns linger

Sometimes, even unhealthy relationship dynamics with an ex can still make us crave that person. If the relationship was rocky, dramatic, or on-and-off, you may have gotten used to that rollercoaster. According to psychologist Perpetua Neo:

“You actually get used to the highs and lows and the drama.”

This can cause you to think about them often after the breakup. The turbulence felt familiar, and you miss that. Stable and secure relationships may not give you the same “addictive rush” at first.

You miss the highs and lows

Similarly, because our brains release pleasure chemicals during peak emotional moments – both positive and negative – you may find yourself pining for those memorable highs and lows with your ex:

• The excitement of first meeting
• The passion of getting intimate
• The thrill of overcoming conflicts
• The joy of reconciling after fights

This rollercoaster of emotions caused a kind of euphoria. According to psychiatrist and neuroscientist Judy Ho:

“Your brain does not distinguish between physical and emotional pain. Breakups activate the same regions in the brain as physical pain.”

In a sense, losing your ex can feel traumatic, almost like going through drug withdrawal. This can explain why it’s so hard to stop thinking about them.

The good news is – these feelings do eventually fade. As the saying goes: “This too shall pass.” Be patient with yourself and realize your brain has formed deep connections it will take time to undo. Seek support from friends, family, or a counselor if needed.

Know that you will move forward, even if your ex keeps popping up in your thoughts for awhile. 😊

Seeking Closure and Understanding

You have unfinished business

Breakups often leave loose ends that need to be tied up, leading us to dwell on an ex as we seek closure and crave the understanding needed to truly move on. Whether you never got the explanation you deserved, the terms of your split were ambiguous, or promises were left unfulfilled, the lack of resolution can haunt your thoughts and keep you stuck on this person.

It’s human nature to long for security and certainty, especially after an important relationship ruptures and leaves you raw and regretful. Getting insight into what went wrong and being able to clean up any messes can be integral to healing.

You want explanations and validation

Many of us ruminate on a past flame because we’re longing for their validation and view of the relationship – needing reassurance that we made the right choices or that the connection meant as much to them.

Reaching out to an ex can provide a boost of confidence if they express regret or say how special the bond was. These exchanges let you stake your claim on the narrative of your split and feel heard in a way you may not have been before.

However, pinning your inner peace on outside approval usually leads to more suffering. Focus on your own convictions and growth instead.

You’re still processing the breakup

While the pain dulls with time, major breakups often take well over a year to fully move past. The stages of grief don’t progress neatly, and it’s not uncommon to swing back and forth between acceptance, anger, denial, and sadness after a split. Even when you let go logically, your limbic system holds onto the emotional charge much longer.

It’s a sign of the meaning this relationship had that sorting through residual feelings can be an extended endeavor. Don’t judge yourself – reflecting helps you integrate lessons so future bonds can be healthier and more conscious.

With time and self-care, these waves subside as you regain your footing.

According to one Psychology Today post, it can take the average individual 11 weeks to start moving on from a relationship, and even longer for an LTR. With this in mind, it’s reasonable to expect intrusive thoughts about an ex for some months post-split.

As long as the frequency diminishes over time and you’re not neglecting self-care, don’t panic or criticize yourself.

Fear, Insecurity, and Ego

You feel rejected and bruised ego

Getting dumped can be a huge blow to one’s self-esteem and make someone feel inadequate or unlovable. According to psychologists, this rejection activates the same pathways in the brain as physical pain (Healthline).

It’s natural to have a bruised ego and keep questioning what you did wrong or what’s wrong with you after a breakup.

Dwelling on these insecurities can cause someone to fixate on their ex as a way to prove their worth and seek validation. This obsession stems from fear rather than a genuine desire to reconnect.

You struggle with trust and vulnerability going forward

Having your heart broken can also lead to major trust issues. You trusted your ex with your heart, and they dropped it. That experience can make it incredibly difficult to open up in your next relationship and make yourself vulnerable again.

Thinking about your ex can seem “safer” than moving forward, because getting close to someone new means risking another painful rejection. However, staying stuck on an ex keeps you from experiencing real intimacy in the future.

You want to get back together and ‘win’ them over

For some people, an obsession with an ex is less about the ex themselves and more about the desire to get back together and “win” the relationship. Their ego makes it hard to accept that their ex fell out of love or didn’t see the value they brought.

Continuously thinking about the relationship or scheming to get your ex back keeps you stuck in fantasy rather than accepting reality. And it prevents you from moving forward to find happiness with someone new.

Soul Ties and Past Life Connections

You formed a traumatic attachment

Have you ever felt an unusually strong, almost magnetic attraction to someone you just met? According to spiritual teachers, this can indicate a traumatic attachment or soul tie formed with that person in a past life.

If someone died unexpectedly or you endured great trauma together, your souls may have clinging energetic cords that reconvene lifetime after lifetime seeking resolution.

For example, perhaps you had a passionate love affair that ended catastrophically, leaving you both yearning. Or maybe this person caused or contributed to your untimely death in a prior incarnation. Souls that meet a traumatic end together often reincarnate hoping to heal and find the closure that eluded them before.

Your souls reconvene lifetime after lifetime

Have you ever felt instantly, almost eerily connected to someone you just met? You might have recognized each other on a soul level – your spirits could be age-old soulmates meeting yet again in the physical realm.

According to psychic medium Sylvia Scott, about 50% of soulmates reconnect from one life to the next, drawn together like magnets.

These bonds transcend the physical. Your spirits may have shared many adventures over multiple incarnations. Now they bask in sweet familiarity upon reuniting another time. However, until you do the spiritual work of releasing old baggage, there may be challenging patterns playing out.

You promised to find each other again

Have you had a nagging sense that you made a promise to someone in the past to reconnect? If so, you could be feeling the pull of a soul oath or agreement made in another lifetime. For instance, maybe you pledged devotion to finding your beloved again after war tore you tragically apart.

Or perhaps you vowed amends for wrongdoing that compelled your spirits to seek future redemption.

Whatever words were spoken back then, intentions crystallized into soul contracts that magnetize reunion now. Yet while the heart remembers, the conscious mind forgets. So you might feel drawn to this person without understanding why. Explore what’s seeking healing in your connection.

Your soul promises now yearn fulfillment.

How to Stop Thinking About an Ex

Practice mindfulness and self-soothing

When thoughts about your ex arise, gently bring your attention back to the present moment. Try taking some deep breaths, going for a walk, talking to a friend, or doing an activity you enjoy. Self-soothing activates the parasympathetic nervous system and can help calm difficult emotions.

Seek closure through ritual

Letting go often requires finding closure. Writing an unsent letter to your ex can help you release pent-up emotions and find resolution. Creating a symbolic ritual, like burning old letters or deleting texts and photos, can provide a sense of finality.

Cut energetic cords and clear attachments

In energy healing traditions, a cord may form between two people in relationship. Visualizing cutting this tie can help you detach on an energetic level. Clearing rituals like smudging can also help purify lingering attachments to the past.

Learn the spiritual lessons

Every relationship offers spiritual teachings if we approach it with wisdom and reflection. Consider what this person or experience came to show you. Perhaps you learned to establish better boundaries, to speak your truth, to be alone, or to treat yourself with greater kindness and care.

Focus inward on self-love and healing

Ultimately, moving forward requires turning our focus inward. Spend time getting to know yourself again through journaling, creative expression, or spiritual practices like meditation or yoga. As you heal and fill your inner well, fond yet persistent thoughts about your ex will subside in their own organic timing.

Conclusion

As you can see, constantly thinking about an ex often relates to inner unfinished business in need of resolution before fully moving forward.

While painful, this frustrating experience presents an opportunity for profound spiritual growth. By exploring the root causes with courage and compassion, you can heal old wounds, reclaim your power, radically transform unhealthy patterns, and pave the way for healthier relationships ahead.